Hayden is marrying Meagan on March 1, 2027 — barefoot on Caribbean sand. Before the white linen, one weekend of smoke and fire: a whole hog on the pit, German lagers, brown liquor, and stories he'd rather we forget. Three days. One 10 square feet smoking pit. Zero adult supervision. You're on the list because you've earned a seat at the fire — show up hungry. (The actual wedding lives here.)
A 10 square feet smoking pit, running for 18 hours straight. The agenda on the left. What comes off the fire on the right.
Two whole packers, oak-and-cherry smoke, 1.5 hrs a pound. On Friday night, off Saturday evening.
Low & SlowThree to four bone-in butts, bark for days, piled high on buns.
Overnight CookRacks of St. Louis cut, glazed and pulled fresh while the mains rest.
Saturday FreshThe Friday-night opener and the Oktoberfest tie-in. Snap when you bite.
Beer-FriendlyPITMASTER DUTY — someone rides the smoker overnight Friday and while we're at the brewery. Sign up at RSVP. Glory and first cuts await.
Priced out for 15 men. Here's exactly where the money goes:
| Provision | Cost | Per Head |
|---|---|---|
| 150 lb pig, butterflied for the pitWhole hog, roast-prepped. The centerpiece. | $550–750 | ~$43 |
| Packer briskets ×2 (~28 lb)USDA Choice runs $3.50–5/lb. | $100–140 | ~$8 |
| Whole turkeys ×2 (~32 lb)~$1.34/lb frozen. Smoked, not sad. | $45–65 | ~$4 |
| Pork butts ×4 (~32 lb)$1.79–2.29/lb. Bark for days. | $60–75 | ~$5 |
| Half barrel — Coors Light or Yuengling165 twelve-oz pours. It will not survive. | $103–113 (+$30 dep.) | ~$8 |
| 5L mini keg (German, for the Oktoberfest spirit)Warsteiner or Heineken. | $22–30 | ~$2 |
| Handle of Benchmark bourbon (1.75L)For toasts and fireside courage. | $20–26 | ~$2 |
| The damage | ≈ $1,040 | ≈ $70 |
The buy-in: $75 a man. It covers the whole board — 240+ lbs of meat, 165 beers, German steins and Kentucky bourbon. A BBQ joint charges $22 a plate before the first drink; retail, this weekend runs $250+.
Your other ticket in: ONE side dish that belongs next to roast pig or brisket — beans, slaw, cornbread, mac, whatever your house does best. Coordinate nothing. Chaos is the menu.
Oktoberfest at Seedz Brewery: cover your own tab — steins run about $8.
Need the real thing? Open it in Google Maps.
1670 Napier Ct, Benton Harbor, MI 49022. Space at the house is first-come; everyone else, book New Buffalo / Union Pier lodging now — resort country, fills up.
Book EarlySeedz Brewery — 16321 Red Arrow Hwy, Union Pier, MI 49129. Steins & Märzen. (269) 231-5103
Saturday MiddayNobody drives drunk. Shuttle/van to and from the brewery — claim a seat at RSVP.
Designated WheelsIn or out. We need a headcount for the pig, the beds, and the beer. Lock it in.